


Closure

by FromIdeaAndBeyond



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Goodbye, Heavy Angst, I was in my emotions and this came out, I'm not sorry, Implied Character Death, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:09:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25269631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FromIdeaAndBeyond/pseuds/FromIdeaAndBeyond
Summary: How do you tell the person that you love that you won't see them anymore?
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Kudos: 3





	Closure

He took a deep breath before setting the pen back to paper, hoping that some extra oxygen might help steady it. He had started over at least a dozen times but every time the words just didn’t feel right and the paper ended up in a ball on the other side of the room.

He knew it wasn’t an easy thing to write, telling the love of your life that they won’t see you again. Yet, it had to be done. Baekhyun owed him that much after all these years. Even starting the damn thing was unbearable.

Would he start with ‘To my true love’ or just ‘Dear Chanyeol,’ He didn’t know, maybe he should use one of the many nicknames he had given him over the years.

Yeol, Dear, Honey, Sweetheart, Darling, Yoda, Bear, Papa Bear after their daughter came into their lives.

He should address her too, tell her how proud he is of her and how much she has grown and that he will always be in her heart even when he’s not around.

Would she understand?

Maybe he needed to write her a separate letter. No, there was no time for that. He would make a paragraph about her in this one. The letter would end up at the same address anyways.

He stretched his hand trying to get rid of the cramp in it. It had been a long time since he wrote a letter by hand, but this occasion seemed to ask for a hand-written one instead of an e-mail or text.

This was too personal to be shared that way.

How do you write down all the things you forgot to tell a person in their lifetime? ‘I’m sorry for all the times I’ve hurt you’? No, that sounded like a sad romcom line.

Yet he was sorry. Sorry for hurting the one he loved the most but also sorry for not appreciating the beauty of them together. Sorry for taking him for granted and missing out on everything important between them.

He regretted working late at night and coming home to a sleeping house only to be leaving again before anyone else woke up. He should have appreciated their weekends together more.

Should have taken time for the love of his life after he lost his mother. He should have been there for all his daughter’s firsts. Yet, he had been a selfish asshole and put his work first, every time.

Now, it’s too late.

Not only can he not take back all his mistakes, he won’t’ be able to right any of the wrongs he did to them. Maybe this was what he deserved.

Alone in a room crying over a piece of paper that once again gets crumpled into a ball and tossed around the room.

Starting over. Oh how he wished he could start everything over again with Chanyeol. He would do better this time. He wouldn’t flirt with his colleagues on those long nights, nor would he touch any of them like he had.

He would go home at a normal hour and eat dinner with his lover and their daughter. He would laugh at all her stories and tell her some of his own. He would help take her to bed and tuck her in before settling down on the sofa with Chanyeol.

Snuggling into him and sharing some of his work frustrations, and Chanyeol would just stroke his hair and tell him how well he did at work and how those whining colleagues are just assholes.

Chanyeol would kiss him to make him feel better, slowly at first but their caring kisses would soon transform into a wave of passion that had them tearing each other’s clothes off.

Baekhyun sighed loudly. How he wished he could do it all over again. He put the final stop at the end of the sentence and signed his name. He folded the letter threefold making sure to keep the creases even.

He pushed the paper into the envelope and wrote down the familiar address before sticking the stamp on the top right corner. He got up and shuffled out of the room.

“Suzan” he called to the woman down the hall. She turned around to look at him with pity in her eyes. “Could you make sure this letter gets to its destination?”.

His voice betrayed the emotion behind it, and he cleared his throat as to pretend it was just some mucus that made him sound that way. The women nodded “Of course Mr. Byun” she agreed and Baekhyun shuffled back into the room to sit on the bed.

This was the only thing he could still do for the love of his life and he hoped it was enough.

_“My Dearest Chanyeol,_

_I’m sorry if I surprise you with this letter or if this arrives at an inconvenient time for you. It has been a while since I wrote to anyone, so I beg you to bear with me._

_This is the last time you will hear from me, ever. Unlike the times I stood at your door crying and apologizing, this won’t be like that anymore and I will not be doing that any longer._

_Please give my love to your husband. I’m happy to see that you found happiness with him again and that you were able to open your heart still. I’m sorry I was the one to hurt it so bad. I deserve every foul word you ever said to me and worse._

_Tell Maya I love her and that I’m so so proud of her. She has become a wonderful young lady and it saddens me to know I won’t be seeing her grow up more. She is lucky to have you as a father and I was a jerk for missing out on all her progress when we were still together._

_So, why would I suddenly write this letter to you? Good questions. A tough one to answer but I am going to try anyways._

_I am dying, Chanyeol._

_I won’t make it till the end of the week. I’ve known for a while and like every other mistake I have made, I didn’t tell you about this, because I didn’t want you to be concerned about me any longer._

_I have caused you enough trouble to last you a lifetime so I am writing you this letter to tell you that I am sorry and that I wish with all my heart that I could do it all over and do it right this time. Both for you and Maya._

_I have never stopped loving you Chanyeol. Never. Not even when I was dumb enough to lay hands on other people. I always wished they were you. I know that doesn’t excuse it at all and you were right to divorce me. I’m just coming clean here, I guess._

_I hope that I might get a tiny bit of redemption with this letter and the prospect of the ease you will have without me throwing your life upside down. Tell Sehun I’m sorry for breaking that vase._

_I don’t want to drag on about past mistakes and how much I miss you because I played my cards and I lost the game. I hope that this might give you closure, and you will be able to live a happy and healthy life with your husband and our daughter._

_Again, I’m sorry for everything._

_I love you._

_Baekhyun"_

_THE END_


End file.
